I was hired to be a faux John Humphries for a few days at Excel. The client booked me in to the interesting sounding Customs House Hotel; so close you could spit across the gap which was promising.
However ...
My 'double' room was really way too small for twin beds. There was nowhere to put my case (except on the other bed). The 'wardrobe' was a tiny, half-enclosed hanging space in the corner. The shower was a joke; a circular tube with barely room to stick my elbows out as I soaped my beautifully toned body.
No coat hook on the back of the door (okay, I'm being picky - there was one on the inside of the bathroom door).
I discovered I had foolishly arrived with no toothpaste. so I went down to reception where I was sold a little box containing a razor, shaving cream, cotton buds, make-up wipes, a toothbrush and the tiniest tube of toothpaste you ever saw. This cost me £2.50. On my way through the hotel next morning, I spotted the vending machine offering full-size, grown up toothpaste for £2!!
Breakfast. The grilled tomatoes were burnt! Literally; blackened skin peeling off. The scrambled egg (only choice) was like polystyrene. There was no black pudding!!
Last straw. They deducted a random £330 from my credit card! I did get a refund, but no explanation of course.
I filled in the feedback form. No reaction so far (two weeks and counting).
The one bright moment. Having arrived with no toothpaste, I left without two of my suits. The housekeeping staff were very efficient and had them back to me within a couple of days. Smiley face for them; grumpy one for the hotel.
