Mobile phones - the old jokes are the best!

Never too old 6

Back to what passes as normal. I did all my runs and all but one of my workouts. So I'm feeling a bit smug and righteous and superior. It won't last, of course. Something will force me to confront reality quite soon. But for now - the results:

12stone 12 pounds and 4 ounces. Almost a pound lighter than last week and well on target. And the pictures ...

... do look a little different from week one! That was 26 July and I have lost a little under half a stone. Two months to go to lose twelve-and-a-bit pounds - no problem! (That boast may come back to haunt me.)

Never too old 5 - tragedy!

12.13.2 - st.lb.oz.

Exactly the same as last week! Totally bizarre but not such a tragedy really; I had actually expected to put on weight.

Why? I hear you cry. Because this has been a bad week. I have only run twice, and one of those was a 3.5 miler instead of 5.5. And I have only done one half-hearted upper-body workout.

The 'reasons' need not concern you; they are but excuses and pleas for sympathy. The bottom line is that I did not do what I said I would do. And if you do not do what you say you will do when you say you will do it, your life does not work. As clearly demonstrated by my life this past week.

So, that was then, this is now and I am back on track as of this morning. No pictures (what's the point) but more next week!

Santander - a load of bankers

I went to log in to my Internet business banking service this morning - just to see whether those clients I'm chasing have coughed up yet. Normally, of course, I make clients pay up front but these guys are a little bit special - friends. I know.

SHOCK - HORROR! Only three of my four accounts showed up! And the one that was missing was the one with most of the money.

After logging out / back in / out / in I gave up and phoned 'customer service'. Always a joke, eh?

The very pleasant lady I spoke to investigated. "Ah, yes," (I paraphrase), " the reason is we have changed 'unintelligible techie stuff'' and we sent you a new card. You should have received it."

Was it my imagination or was there a hint of the accusatory in her tone?

Shaking off the impression she felt it was my fault, I pointed out that I had indeed not yet received the new card so what was she going to do for me? It seems there was nothing she could do. It would take the technical team until Monday to get me back 'in' and she was sure my card would arrive today or tomorrow.

HALLO, SANTANDER! I KNOW YOU ARE SPANISH BUT, FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD, YOUR POSTAL SERVICE IS NO BETTER THAN OURS!

And to cancel someone's access to vital financial information on the assumption that the Post Office will perform borders on the cretinous.

My instinct is to close my accounts and go elsewhere. But you know what? They're all pretty much as useless as one another, it's a hassle to move, I'm congenitally lazy. So I'll just write and ask them to compensate me to the tune of £50 for screwing up my Friday morning.

Never too old 4

First, the good news. 12stone 13 pounds 2 ounces. Not impressive but still moving in the right direction.

I've increased my mileage again, to 5.4 miles, and it seems to be going well. Toes get numb but no recurrance of the pain that forced me out of this year's Marathon des Sables. Who knows, I might get to run in 2013! Imagine it, 150 miles on a walk/jog/sprint routine!

BTW. The exercise Imentioned in NTO 3 (lifting weights up to shoulder) does not seem to exist officially. nearest thing I can find is front shoulder raises which involve raising the arms straight out in front. So maybe I'll include that as well.

Ant way - the pics:

Do not laugh at the hair - they made me do it (see previous post - 'movie star')

That's it - I'm going to look at my diet now; cutting out the jam sandwiches might be worth a try.

So, you wanna be a movie star?

Hmm, maybe not a star exactly; but you could be an extra/supportingartiste/background perhaps.

It is certainly the easiest way imaginable to make a (very little) money for doing next to nothing, have a laugh, meet some interesting people and, occasionally, see some good actors doing their stuff. Though mostly the real actors are a long way away from where you are (physically and temporaly).

To get the full lowdown on the business, you should read Rob Martin's book, You can be aMovie Extra. It was this that got me into extra work several years ago.

 You won't get rich, or discovered
If you want to make a living in movies/TV etc, forget this route! Your work will be intermittent, you'll be lucky to earn £100 a day after agent's fees, and you'll have to pay your own expenses. And no director is ever going to spot you in the crowd and pluck you from obscurity to star in his/her next blockbuster. Apart from anything else, you'll be lucky to catch a glimpse of the director!
And forget getting 'a line' a la Ricky Gervais - it just does not happen - in fact try to engage one of the real actors or director in conversation and you'll be out on your ear.

You will be bored
 Mostly, you will stand or sit around for a long time doing nothing, then be herded onto the set to stand around (or sometimes walk around/run around) while the team have several goes at getting the result they want before you are herded back to wherever they keep you between takes for another spell of doing nothing.

And you will sometimes have a great time
I've had great times on V for Vendetta, Children of Men, Robin Hood (the Russell Crowe turkey) among others. I've had interesting times on Our Mutual friend (TV), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, among others. And I've been shorn (quite recently, see photo) on The Invention of Hugo Cabret. But you do get paid extra for having your hair cut!

Not yet put off?

Then read the book and talk to some agencies. Rob Martin founded (?) Casting Collective (http://www.castingcollective.co.uk/) which is probably one of the best, but take a look at

http://www.maddogcasting.com/

http://www.guysanddollscasting.com/

http://www.2020casting.com/

and Google casting agents or extras agents to see what else comes up. But be careful; all agencies charge for taking a photo and putting you on their books - the ethical ones take that charge from your first job, no work and you pay nothing. Avoid any agent who wants money up front (except the odd one, like 2020, which gives you a discount for an up front payment!)

BTW: They all take on new people around September time so get in contact soon.

Finally - if you just fancy getting on TV in any old thing, http://www.beonscreen.com/ may be what you are looking for.

Seen Scorsese lately?

I always knew he reminded me of someone ...

... just needs a cigar!